3 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved
What is self-love?
Self-love is something you feel when you are connected to your heart centre. You will want to take care of yourself so that you feel balanced and fulfilled from within, without needing love from outside of you. You know that you are not loving yourself when you feel drained and out of balance. Feelings of anger and frustration is signalling imbalance that can arise when we fail to meet our expectations.
Self-love means loving and deeply accepting everything that makes us be who we are. It is valuing our best intentions, gifts, talents, ideas, feelings and everything that makes us uniquely us. It is also loving and forgiving our shadow aspects that carry shame, blame, guilt, fears and anxiety about not being worthy or good enough.
1. Compassionate communication starts with You
How you communicate with yourself has the most impact regarding how you feel about yourself and express yourself. If we tell ourself harsh hurtful things about our appearance or capabilities, we harm our ability to show up in the world confidently and courageously. If we tell ourselves lies because it makes us feel better, in the long run it damages our inner trust, truth and intuition. For us to trust someone, we must first develop trust and truth inside. We must connect with our heart and live true to our highest purpose, values and intention.
2. Reactive vs Proactive
When it comes to our day to day, how many times to you 'react' to situations? If it is reacting to your partner, X, child, mum, email or driver, we don't realise how much of our actions are on autopilot. Simply reacting and not slowing down to think about the repercussions will come back to us negatively in some form. We can use various techniques to interrupt auto-pilot programs, such as yelling at our kids. It is possible to interrupt these patterns consciously, however we are sick, tired or stressed, this is almost impossible. Hypnosis and NLP is a great tool to update negative patterns and replace them with kindness. It is always helpful to act from a place of kindness, as we never know what the other person might be going through.
3. Watch and notice your thoughts
Becoming aware of your thoughts allows you to discover hidden patterns that keep repeating over and over, influencing your life positively or negatively. Most humans have a negative bias that has evolved in order to keep us safe. Our mind remembers negative things more than positive things. The moment we step outside our comfort zone, the anxiety mind chirps up. Going outside your comfort zone might mean small talk at a social function, public speaking, speaking up in a meeting or introducing yourself at a networking event. Anxiety for you might mean taking yourself off to a new class or club and facing all the excuses your anxiety mind feeds through.
In summary, self love is giving yourself full permission to explore life's journey authentically, imperfectly, unashamedly, shyly, boringly even, not being the most beautiful or handsome human in the world and yet still...know deep down inside that you are enough.